Tired And Crazy

So hello nobody. I'm tired,note to self: don't stay up til 3 in the morning. I've found probably my favorite source of thinspo. Who gets Teen Vogue? Also, I was reading time a few weeks ago, and in the Quotes section, there was miss Kate Moss, a model. Her quote? "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." Well said Miss Moss, well said.

I got on the scale today. I was wearing heavy skinny jeans, and thermal long-sleeve, and a heavy argyle hoodie. I was expecting around 108 because of the added weight, but I was 105! That makes me pretty happy. I'm currently hovering around 103, 104. This makes me very happy.

Oh My Fucking God I Am So Fat

I haven't written in about forever. Sorry for the 0% of you who read this. I finally got a camera for Christmas, I think the day I choose to burn your eyes out will be Sunday. I can't sleep, not until I get this shitload of clothes of my freaking bed. BLAH. BLAH BLAH BLAH. I want to sleep forever, but I don't want to die.

Three Days

3 days. I binged for THREE DAYS. Is that even possible. Friday was sushi with my family for Ashley's birthday, and everything went downhill from there. Saturday was spent at Natalie's house, and we make cookies. FUCKING COOKIES. Chocolate chip cookies, nonetheless. Sunday was just.... eateateat. I plan to do the Rainbow Diet, which I WILL follow. And I if I don't, I will probably shoot myself in the face.

Monday: White

Breakfast: 1/2 apple, 40.5
Lunch: 1/2 apple, 40.5
Dinner: Cucumber, 24

Total: 105

Book List

I have a list of Ana books that I really want, but not willing to ask my parents for:

Wasted- Marya Hornbacher
The Best Little Girl In The World- Steve Levenkron
Thin- Grace Bowman
Feeling For Bones- Bethany Pierce
Perfect- Emily Halban
Empty- Christie Pettit
Diary Of An Anorexic Girl- Morgan Menzie
Unwell- Leslie Lipton
Thin- Lauren Greenfield
Massive- Julia Bell
The Echo Glass- Heather Morrel
Diary Of An Exercise Addict- Peach Friedman
Skinny- Ibi Kaslik
Running On Empty- Carrie Arnold
Wintergirls- Laurie Halse Anderson (I've read this book, you MUST read it!)
Perfect- Natasha Friend
Purge- Nicole James
Skinny- Laura L. Smith
Gaining- Aimee Liu
Second Star To The Right- Deborah Hautzig
ANA'S GIRLS- Eda Uca
Purge- Sarah Littman
The Anorexic Diaries- Linda Rio
I don't want to ask for these books because I don't want to raise eyebrows. FRUSTRATING.

Good Day Tuesday

Judging from the title, one can guess that today was a good day. Indeed. I managed to stick to the ABC diet for Tuesday without a failures. :D Yaayy. Wednesday is a different matter. At the school I go to, Wednesday is a half day. But we don't go in until 10, so that's good. I'll lay out my meals so I can re-read them tomorrow.

Breakfast: Fasting
Lunch: Fasting
Dinner: Fasting

Exciting, huh? Yep. I'm not quite sure of this, I had over a hundred calories today, but I think that willpower alone will be able to help me. And Ana is always guiding me.

Thin

Thinspo<3

Fat Cow

Guess who binged today? Me. Guess who can't purge it back up? Me. Guess who's a failure? MEEEEEEE. So, with the ABC diet in RUINS, I have decided to revert back to the Rainbow Diet. Tuesday is yellow so, without further ado, my Tuesday schedule!

Breakfast- 1/2 banana 52.25
Lunch- 1/2 banana 52.25
Dinner- 1/2 banana 52.25

And the day's total is....

156.75!

Over a hundred, but still. It's not much if it means I can be like Ana. Nice and skinny.

Rainbow Diet My Butt

So the Rainbow Diet was a fail. What do you except? It's in the blog description. After my dad forced 2 potato rolls down my throat, I decided on the ABC diet instead. The potato rolls are 90 each, so I'm at 180 right now. I'll leave myself 20 more calories for failure. >.<

Pro- Ana Icons

Rainbow Diet

I haven't eaten anything today, but it's still pretty early. I don't really plan on fasting, I haven't prepared enough. Yes, I prepare for a fast. Eating lots a veggies and fruits, and slowly reducing the calories. So today, it's time for a rainbow diet. Today is Sunday so today is green.

Breakfast: 1/2 cup grapes, 57
Lunch: 1 cup lettuce, 5
Dinner: 1 cup lettuce, 5

So the days total is 67 calories. Not bad, eh?

I have the entire week planned out, and I wrote it down so I can take it to school. I'll have to be careful though, because my friend Emily is a vegan, so she'll know the calorie count of everything. But I'll have the excuse, "I'm going vegan", so it's all good

The FAT Diaries

Welcome to the Fat Diary. My name is Lauren, and I'm 13 years old. I've been Anorexic for 2 1/2 years, and I intend to keep it that way. I have no intention of going IP, and I don't want to get better. This blog is pretty much my escape route. The internet is all I have left for the means to telling the world about me. I live with my controlling stepfather, my mother, my stepsister, and 3 cats. Missy, Jake, and Bella. My friends are..... weird. Anna, Morgan, Ciara, Emily, Aurora, Katie, Adam, and Missy the Cat. I write this from my laptop in my room. I exist in my head. I am completely insane, fat, depressed, and alone. But please, feel free to join me.