Hello There, The Angel From My Nightmare

So, I'm back! I'm alive! I'm... fatter. I'm also slightly annoyed with the people I went with, who left me in the hot tub to go on my favorite ride 2 times.

All in all, it was really fun. I have so many pictures for you guys, I'll upload them later. I did not find 1 single person with the same suit I had, last year there were like, 94876. I went down the body slide nobody else did, put to many sprinkles on my cookie, and hugged a smelly, giant elephant. I did NOT clear out the sweetshop (though I wanted too), I PWNED in the Duckie Races (yes, they had one), and stalked people in the water park with the T.V. in our room. I... was somewhat normal. I enjoyed it.

For The People That Inspire Me

Dear Della,
I'm gonna miss you loads. Like, A FREAKING LOT. I'm totally heartbroken that you're leaving. I'm going to miss your sarcasm and those little tidbits that made me laugh my ass off. Good luck Della, we're all going to miss you.
Love,
Lauren

Dear Andy,
You are brave, fierce, courageous, determined, encouraging, fearless, lovely, upbeat, wise, witty, wonderful. And you can do this.
Love,
Lauren

Cupcakes

So, seeing as I didn't have a Valentine, I called my Grandma. Yep. My granny. She asked if I had a boyfriend/Valentine, and I'm like, "Nooopeee." So she's all like, "Ima be over in a few."

Not a few minutes, a few hours.

I was feeling kind of upset, until she finally came over. Then I realized she was late because she made me cupcakes. Vanilla, with cherry frosting and those little candy hearts with the sayings on top. I don't think I have ever loved her more. So me, my aunt, my grandma,, and my mom, and we just watched the MSU woman's game, and talked about random stuff. It was pretty fun.

Later on, we went to McDonald's. Kind of weird, but it's tradition. It's where my step dad proposed to my mom. We're not fancy like that. ;)
So we talked and ate fatty things, and talked s'more. It was... different.

7 Days

7 days. 7 days. 7 days until I pack my bag and myself into a small gold van with 3 other teenagers and a mom of 2 of them on the road to Ohio. 7 days until Kalahari.

7 days until disaster.

I've been keeping myself below 900 for a week. This will ruin it. Kalahari is the largest in-door waterpark in America (I think). It has a arcade, 5 different stores, and a killer sweet shop (literally). Plus the little fast-food areas in said waterpark itself, I'm certain that this trip will bring many meltdowns in the week to come. Not to mention that we stop and a pizza place, and Wendy's on the way there. Nervous as hell, but this is tradition. I can't back out, I've been going with them every year for 3 years. Totally freaking out.

It's All Good

Thanks to Della for the lovely comments. (:
I am... slightly confused, a little tired, and very excited.
We had a superfreakingawesomeMASSIVE snowstorm yesterday. Snow day today. Which explains why I am excited.
Boy, (not Crush, Boy), keeps talking to me in Spanish class. And.. I think he is stealing my feelings for Crush. So yeah, Lauren is confused.
Annnddd... Lauren did not sleep a lot, so I'm tired.
Our water heater is broken. I don't like cold showers.

On a different note, I have decided it's time for a good, old-fashioned FAST. Except Ima tweak it a little bit. After 6 p.m., I can eat. BUUTT, under 900 calories. Hoping this won't let my binge.

I'm Not Okay

With a wrist full of "cat scratches"
And a bottle full of pills
She wonders

With a bottle full of vodka
And a head full lies
She wonders

She wonders what's wrong with her.
Why's she's like this.

She's not okay.
She is most certainly not okay.

Swim Suit

I'm liking it. ;)

Um, yeah

So, ice skating? It's soo not my thing. It's cold, wet, and hard to do with a large group of people. It was me, Ciara, and Anna. Until Ciara invited her friends Kenzie and Jacob , aka, Teddison. That's what Ciara calls him, anyway. She totally likes him, and vice versa, they were all over each other. I think. They really didn't talk with anyone else.
Ciara is changing. She seems more cold and snobbish than when I first met her, and I don't like it. I guess... she just acts different around her new friends than she does when it's her, Emily, Anna and me. It hurts.

Moving on, I'm going to Kalahari in a week. It's the largest water park in somewhere, and it's totally awesome. The bathing suit I'm wearing is totally tight, and if I suck in my stomach good enough, my middle looks pretty hot. ;)
I'll post some pictures of it later in the day.

Mother, Mom, Mommy

I'm not quite as sane as some might think, and I guess it's starting to show. The mother was watching me during our happy mother-daughter bonding time- watching Criminal Minds, the best show on the planet. We really have nothing else in common except our looks and passion for books. I never really know what to think about her, and vice versa. I'm 99.9% sure that I didn't turn out the way she wanted too. You could say that I'm holding out for that .1%, but I don't think it's gonna come. My mother and I never really get along, and for some strange reason this bothers me. Maybe it's because of the fact that all of my friends mothers actually have lives besides working out and reading nutrition books.

Kudos to Della for that lovely comment, it made me smile. (:

Feelings

I feel quite..... emo today. Maybe it's due to the fact the my crush dubbed me as "that blond girl in the corner"? Or maybe that I'm dressed in all black. Either way, Lauren is having some morbid thoughts today, folks.
I'm kindamaybesortadefinitely freaking out about that fucking cheese burger that was shoved down my throat by these hands, which caused tears to come up in these eyes, whom would not let these tears free. But I did stay under 500, so I'm not totally gonna freak out.

I got my expander today, and it really hurts. But on the plus side, it makes it super hard to eat. but it's still a pain in the ass. It feels like my mouth is splitting apart.

Up, Up, Up and Away

Step dad is a freak. A weird, bald, greasy freak. He's embarrassing.
And to be frank with myself, I freaking HATE him, more than I have every hated anyone in my entire life.
He thinks he can tell me what do to just because he has a piece of paper and a band of metal around his fat finger that states him and my mother are married.
But do I retaliate? No. Will I post true facts about him on my secret blog? Yes. But he doesn't know about my blog. Moving on, will I say it to his face, all these things that I will write about him? I don't think he'll ever know.

This evil man is the reason for the God-awful mistake I made today.

A BINGE.

I am a fat cow, eating everything in sight, the ice cream, the milk, the Oreos, the pasta, the PEANUT BUTTER.
Stating Friday: under 500 calories. If not, I will proceed to rip my heart out and eat it.

Gross.

Moving on, it's been snowing. I'm dying to go outside and take some pictures, but Almighty Mother says no. In the morning, with fresh snow glittering in the streetlight, it looks like someone put Edward Cullen over a cheese grater set to VERY FINE, because it looks like little shards of diamond on the sidewalk. I keep forgetting to bring my camera with me. Err.