I often miss this little girl I knew, from a long time ago. Whose dreams had no barriers and who believed in a world where anything is possible, with a heart that was full and unbroken.
(And one day, little girl, you'll discover that you're not the prettiest little princess in the whole world... that you're not the smartest. You'll grow up and it will tear you up inside.)

Yes, it's been a long time. Hello, SUMMER. I go on vacation tomorrow, up to the cabin that my parents rent out every year. I will be bringing a shitload of books, including my food journal. I am now in the process of adding different recipes to it. Most of them are under 200 calories. How's your summer been?

Here is my summer, in short: get up, get dressed, do nothing. Watch TV. FACEBOOK. Hang out with friends. Come home. Go to bed. The story of my fucking life.

You know, day-by-day, you don't really notice the weight loss. You don't really notice anything, except the aching pit in your stomach, and all the cotton balls that your head is filled with. By then, one day, you looked in the mirror (mistake, by the way). And you're like, WHOA. My ribs are showing. I don't have to arch my back to see me spine, it's just THERE. My collarbones look like razor blades, and my cheeks remind me of the edge of a cliff. It's rather pretty, I think. It's beautiful.
And yes, my mind is wrecked with images of itty-bitty wrists and teeny-tinny kneecaps, so I'm really not one to judge. But then I step on the scale, and it tells my the truth- I'm still ugly. (Never look in the mirror. It feeds you LIES, and gets your hopes up, only to be crushed by a million boulders when the scale bitch-slaps you across the face and says, "You-hoo! Welcome to reality, stupid!" So never look in the mirror. Break it. Cover it. Just don't look in it. Ever.)